King Kong Jokes
For jokes about king kong, prepare to chuckle ...
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing £50.00. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for £30.00. That's still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny £15.00 bottle. What I mean," said Tim, is I'd like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror."
How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it? With a monkey wrench.
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
If King Kong came to England why would he live in the Tower of London? Because he's a beef-eater.
If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping pong and died. What would they put on his coffin? A lid!
If you crossed King Kong and a bell, what would you have? A ding-dong King Kong.
What business is King Kong in? Monkey business.
What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty? "Are you my mother?"
What did the big ape say when he dialed incorrectly? "Oops! King Kong ring wrong."
What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema? Miss most of the film!
What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen? Just don't monkey with him.
What do you get if King Kong falls down a mine shaft? A flat miner.
What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend? A flat mate.
What do you get if King Kong sits on your piano? A flat note.
What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie? A messy cage.
What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog? A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.
What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog? A terrified postman.
What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben? He found time-consuming.
What is as big as King Kong but doesn't weigh anything? King Kong's shadow.
What is big hairy and can fly? King Kongcorde!
What is big, hairy and can fly faster than sound? King Koncord.
What should you do if you are on a picnic with King Kong? Give him the biggest bananas.
What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a skunk? I don't know but it could always get a seat on a bus!
What's big and hairy and climbs up the Empire State Building in a dress? Queen Kong.
What's brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside? King Kong in clingfilm
Where does King Kong sleep? Anywhere he wants to.
Who is the smelliest, hairiest monarch in the world? King Pong.
Why did King Kong join the army? To learn about gorilla warfare.
Why did King Kong paint the bottoms of his feet brown? So that he could hide upside down in a jar of peanut butter.
Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong? He didn't like Chinese food.
Why is King Kong big and hairy? So you can tell him apart from a gooseberry.
