Space Jokes

For jokes about space, prepare to chuckle ...

A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing in front of her. An alien stepped out of the spaceship and started to pump gas into it. The woman noticed the letters 'U.F.O.' printed on the side of the ship. She turned to the alien and asked 'Does U.F.O. stand for Unidentified Flying Object?' The alien answered, 'No, it stands for Unleaded Fuel Only!

An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter, "How do you feel?" "How would you feel," the astronout replied, if you were stuck here," on top of 20,000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder?"

First Spaceman: I'm hungry. Second Spaceman: So am I, it must be launch time!

How did the aliens hurt the farmer? They trod on his corn.

How do spacemen pass the time on long trips? They play astronauts and crosses!

I want to be an astronaut when I grow up. What high hopes you have!

If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does an astronaut get? Missile toe.

If athletes get athlete's foot, then what do astronauts get? Missile toe.

President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. "Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, there's good news & bad news." "Oh," no," muttered the President, Well," let me have the bad news first." "The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet." "Gosh, and the good news?" "The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil."

Teacher: What do you think astronauts wear to keep warm? Girl: Apollo neck jumpers?

Two aliens from outer space landed in Las Vegas and were wandering around the casinos. One of them volunteered to go inside and see what was happening. He came out looking rather shocked. "What's the matter?" asked his friend. "It's a very popular place, replied the first alien. It's full of creatures that keep throwing up little metal discs."

Two aliens landed in the remote countryside and went walking from the flying saucer along a narrow lane. The first thing they saw was a red pillar box. 'Take us to your leader,' said the first alien. 'Don't waste time talking to him. Can't you see he's only a child?' said the second alien.

Two aliens landed their ship on a golf course and watched a young man golfing. First he hit it into the high grass, mumbling and cursing he retrieved his ball. Then he hit it into the sand bunker shouting curse words he retrieved the ball. Next he hit a perfect hole in one, then the first alien said to the second, "Uh-oh cover your ears he's going to be really mad now"!

Two astronauts went to a bar on the moon, but they left after a few minutes? You see, it had no atmosphere!

Two astronauts were in a space ship circling high above the earth. One had to go on a space walk while the other stayed inside. When the space walker tried to get back inside the space ship, he discovered that the cabin door was locked, so he knocked. There was no answer. He knocked again, louder this time. There was still no answer. Finally he hammered at the door as hard as he could and heard a voice from inside the space ship saying, 'Who's there?

What did the alien say to the gas pump? Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you!

What did the alien say when his flying saucer landed in a stud farm? Take me to your breeder!

What did the astronaut see on his skillet? Unidentified frying (flying) objects.

What did the metric alien say? Take me to your litre!

What do astronauts put on their toast? Space Jam.

What do astronauts wear to bed? Space Jammies!

What do you call a loony spaceman? An astronut!

What do you call a sick extraterrestrial? An ailin' alien.

What do you call an alien starship that drips water? A crying saucer!

What do you call an alien starship that drips water? A crying saucer.

What do you call an alien surfing the Internet? e-t.

What do you call an overweight ET? An extra cholesterol!