Frog Jokes
For jokes about frogs, get ready to chuckle ...
A frog came into a bank to obtain a loan. He spoke to the loan officer Mr. Paddywack. When Mr. Paddywack asked the frog what he had for loan collateral, the frog held out his hand. "What's that?" asked Mr. Paddywack, but the frog could not talk. So, Mr. Paddywack took the frog in to see the manager and explained the situation. The manager then asked the frog what collateral he had for the loan and the frog held out his hand. "Oh," said the manager, that's a knickknack Paddywack," give the frog a loan."
A librarian was quietly working when three chickens walked in and jumped on to the counter eyed her and said "BUK BUK BUK" Not sure she was sane she gave the chikens three books and they left. An hour later in walked the chickens again jumped onto the counter, returned the books they had taken earlier and said "BUK BUK BUK" Now convinced she was out of her mind she gave them three books, they took one each and left. This time she decided to follow them. She followed them down to the local pond and stood horrified as they threw the books into the water. All of a sudden they flew back out of the pond and a frog stuck it's head up saying "RREDIT RREDIT RREDIT!"
How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming? SPLAT! He didn't.
How did the toad die? He simply croaked!
How do frogs die? They kermit suidide!
How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs? They sit eggsaminations!
I'd like a new frog, please. But you bought one only yesterday. What happened? It Kermit-ted suicide.
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, " I once was a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so." That night, while the princess dined on frog legs,she kept laughing and saying, "I don't THINK so."
What did one frog say.to the other? Time's sure fun when you're having flies!
What do frogs drink? Hot croako!
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!
What do toads drink? Croaka-cola!
What do you call a 100 year old frog? An old croak!
What do you call a frog spy? A croak and dagger agent!
What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? Hoppalong Cassidy!
What do you call a frog with no hind legs? Unhoppy!
What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair? Lily!
What do you call a rich frog? A gold-blooded reptile.
What do you call a rich frog? A golf blooded reptile!
What do you call the English Toad Prize giving cermony? The Brit Awarts!
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist? Kermit the Fog!
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad? Star Warts!
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog? A croaker spaniel!
What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete? Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry? A hoppercraft!
What do you say if you meet a toad? Wart's new!
What do you say if you meet a toad? Wart's new?
What do you say to a hitchhiking frog? Hop in!
What does a bankrupt frog say? "Baroke, baroke, baroke."
What does a frog say when it washes car windows? Rub it, rub it, rub it.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak? Morse toad!
What happened when a frog joined the cricket team? He bowled long hops!
What happens if you eat a hot frog? You'll croak in no time!
What jumps up and down in front of a car? Froglights!
What kind of shoes to frogs like? Open toad sandals!
What's a frogs favourite flower? A croakus!
Whats a frogs favourite game? It's croak-et!
What's a toads favourite sweet? Lollihops!
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute? A frog with hiccups!
Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!
Whats the world weakest animal? A toad, he croaks if you even touch him!
Whats white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions? A hot frog!
When is a car like a frog? When it's becing toad!
Where do frogs keep their treasure? In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats? In the croakroom!
Where do you get frogs eggs? At the spawn shop!
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them!
Why did the lizard go on a diet? It weighed too much for its scales!
Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper? He had his own frog horn!
Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper? He had his own frog-horn.
Why didn't the female frog lay eggs? Because her husband spawned her affections!
Why do frogs have webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires!
Why doesnt Kermit like elephants? They always want to play leap-frog with him.
Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants? They always want to play leap frog with him
Why is a frog luckier than a cat? Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times!
Why was the frog down in the mouth? He was un hoppy!
